Getting others to listen.
Gladys writes:
Are you aware of the web site that allows you to send letters to MPs and local government too? http://www.writetothem.com
It is an incredible web site. I have just written a letter to our MP (and copied it to our local paper - see below)
My son regularly uses this means and gets a letter back every time. The site monitors what happens to make sure MPs are accountable.
I have also signed up to 'Hear from your MP' I am the 107th to have done so in this area.
http://www.hearfromyourmp.com/subscribe
Letter to our MP by Gladys:
Dear John Woodcock,
I am greatly concerned about the reported incidents of both suicide and imprisonment of army veterans. I want to know what is being done to achieve the psychological survival of our forces' personnel once they are back in civvy street.
It is fine to praise our brave lads and good to hear they get medical attention BUT what of the unseen wounds they carry?
What surveys have been done to achieve a clear picture of their psychological survival?
I also want to include our Police Force in a similar assessment.
In the United States, Andrew O'Hara of the Badge Of Life http://www.badgeoflife.com
is a former Police Patrol Officer (and army veteran) who, having come close to taking his own life following retirement, is now devoted to the psychological survival of all those who serve in conditions of intense stress (for him the concentration is on Police Officers as incidents of suicide are high). Andrew, and his committee of retired servicemen and professional medics are pushing forward a campaign of awareness.
Of course, this is not the USA but we have the same problem here — those who go out to serve their country, risking life and limb, in dangerous and stressful situations, deserve to receive more than battle honours. Our brave men and women should not be ending up in prison or on the mortuary slab. This is something NOT talked about. Does praise turn to shame when the reality of being 'human' sets in? What are the facts?
Please don't let the financial state of this country overrule moral and humane concerns. If issues of psychological breakdown of those who serve, or have served, in dangerous and stressful conditions are not dealt with in a compassionate and healing manner, then we will be heading for a truly sick and uncaring society.
Please take a glimpse at http://www.badgeoflife.com and you will understand what I am talking about. This campaign reaches out to the whole of society in an attempt to both prevent breakdown and save life.
Yours sincerely,
Gladys Hobson
In a subsequent email, Gladys writes this:
What I forgot to mention in that letter was to include support for families having to deal with the suicide and 'going off the rails' of their loved ones. This isn't just a small group of people who suffer but the implications of what is happening spreads into the community even if little is heard about it. We hear little, if not nothing, about broken homes, split marriages, depression, violence, imprisonment, affects on society and suicides. Why? Surely not to preserve privacy. Society needs to accept and understand the problem. To offer support, not just after tragedy strikes but throughout the whole process of coming to terms with feelings.
This applies in all walks of life. We should all try to acknowledge if we travel that slippery road and seek help. Young people can be particularly vulnerable. Yet a listening ear makes a huge amount of difference. Maybe schools should teach 'Listening' as part of Life Skills. But taught by trained counsellors not as an academic exercise.
If you have not visited Badge Of Life web site, it really is worthwhile. To think that a caring sane man like Andrew O'Hara turned to drink, and almost ended his life with a bullet in his head, is a sobering thought! http://www.badgeoflife.com
I'm sure you will agree with me that the days ahead could make or break many people. Caring and sharing life's burdens within the family and community could make the years ahead the best times of our lives.
I do agree with Gladys. Increasingly we need to be able to talk and share our thoughts with other caring people. People with the time to listen. On the whole, I believe our society is carrying more problems than it can cope with.
Increasingly we will see people who "flip".
We need to give time to relaxing and talking to others and sharing life with each other.
Which is why I do pottery and work in parks with others. . . .
6 comments:
Thank you for putting that here, Geoff.
You are certainly right about your pottery events. It is often when folk are relaxing with creative activities that open-ended chat can take place and needed friendships made..
I shake my head in disbelief and dismay whenever I read of policemen, firemen etc having to receive counselling whenever they have to attend a particularly gory incident.Somebody ought to have told them before they signed up that the job involved rather more than seeing old ladies across the street and rescuing cats from trees. IMHO they are a waste of already stretched resources nd should leave the job if they can't deal with these sad situations.
I disagree.
The police are also humans, hopefully caring sensitive humans, who have accepted the challenge of dealing with horrendous situations now and again.
Talking things over in other words counseling is essential when dealing with these unless you want a police force made up of unfeeling robots.
Counseling is a way of coping and remaining human ready to cope and react sanely next time a similar situation arises again.
I disagree. My father was a copper and was very, very far from the unfeeling robot you imply that people who can cope with these situations are. He was an exceedingly "human" and caring person. He knew what the job would involve, he faced it, did it and dealt with it. I recall that he told me one of his his first jobs, as a 24 year old constable was to a pick up the severed head of a railway suicide. Surprise surprise - he dealt with it without the psycho babble that abounds today.
I also recall an old WW2 veteran who had been a Jap POW for 2 years. He kept the Japanese commandant's sword on his mantlepiece. He had seen awful things but the denoument of his story was the delight he had felt in sticking the point of the sword in the commandant's a*se on his surrender. He laughed - he coped.
We do expect much of the Police - one thing I expect is that they attend tragic situations and act efficiently. They should then have the capacity and aptitude to go home, maybe talk with family and friends and colleagues as dad did, then get back to work without resorting to time off sick at public expense. I repeat, those who can't cope should leave, its not the job for them.
Paul, you put forward a convincing argument.
I agree entirely with your statement "They should then have the capacity and aptitude to go home, maybe talk with family and friends and colleagues as dad did, then get back to work without resorting to time off sick at public expense."
However you introduce a new element "without resorting to time off sick".
I think that chatting with colleagues and family - if they can cope with it - has been given a newfangled title of "counselling" ie talking about it and not bottling it up. The latter leads to mental illness, stress and time off.
I also think that those of us that deal with stress in our jobs , such as teachers, need to talk about it. We may already have strategies that don't require being asked "Do you want to talk about it" in an earnest voice. But talking and sharing is important. Some people mistakenly think they mustn't trouble others with their problems - stiff upper lip - and end - strewed up - and ill.
Geoff - it's a sad comment on society today that people have to go running to the psycho-babblers rather than talk things out with family, friends and colleagues. I remember many years ago my father attended a fatal accident (amongst thousands he saw over 30 years service). An elderly man had been crushed against a wall by a runaway lorry. Dad had to go through his pockets for I.D. He came home that night, his tunic sleeves covered in the guy's blood. I saw it, and also saw mum but the uniform in our boiler! It was just accepted as an inevitable part of the job. Sh*t happens!
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