Intuitively, I don't believe you can legislate this kind of thing but coming out in the open and voicing concern is helpful and will get people thinking and possibly altering priorities.
I was discussing this briefly with Amanda yesterday.
I cringe a little when I hear another friend of mine say to his small boys "Why don't you go and play with the girls over there" - which they don't because they are boys and those are girls.
I would prefer the statement - "Those children over there are having fun why don't you go and join them."
Do we have to make children always aware of their gender?
When it comes to teenagers mixing with each other, can't this be done on the basis of their interests without being aware of which sex they are. If all teenagers wore 'unisex' sportswear. Wouldn't this encourage kids to mix with each other as people with little regard for gender,
Wouldn't this be a good thing?
Having been in charge of the same mixed form of 30 kids from age 11 through to 16, it seemed to be possible to encourage them in activities where they all joined in in a genderless way. Individuals developed self esteem from who they were deep inside and not what they looked like as a boy or girl.
In fact it was only one of them who had problems with school work and joining in that resorted to be a sexy girl with lads hanging round her on street corners.
The rest studied hard - did well in school work and went on to succeed in jobs after school because they had developed confidence in themselves.
Don't some parents let their kids down by pandering to peer pressure and even encourage their kids to dress up and emphasise their sexuality.
I often feel sad for girls that are seen as 'beautiful' (and boys too) who trade on this between the ages of 15 and 35. Then their world appears to collapse when they no longer are seen as attractive because of their bodies and they have little in the way of a non sexual personality.
Isn't it best in the long run to help our kids to develop as contented self assured young people with their strong sense of being people with individual interests where sex doesn't cross their minds.
Should all school uniform be of a unisex nature. Loose comfortable tops and long pants as worn by people doing sport training that will assist young people to see each other primarily in an interesting and self assured way - the way we oldies that are passed it see each other which to a fair degree is genderless. That's OTT but shall we say, in a way we enjoy each others gender without sex being a primary concern (because we've been there, done that, got the tea, shirt thirty years ago).
As you gather I'm struggling on this issue and need some help sorting out my thinking.
The likes of Amanda and other younger parent friends mine have no doubt got a bit further sorting out their thinking here.
3 comments:
Leave things like this to Charles Darwin.
Parenting
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-parenting/dad-pictured-in-fancy-dress-outfits-to-wave-son-off-to-school-blog-96-yahoo-lifestyles.html
I rather think children are too influenced by commercialism. Sex sells. Children are targeted through teen magazines and the like. It seems to me that Children's clothing follows fashion rather than given thought for comfort and growing bodies. Does it matter that boys follow their dads in chosen activities — football, woodcraft, engineering, cooking, anything that draws them together. Sure I would have liked my lads to have followed after me with pastimes and such but I'm quite happy that they all took to engineering and associated activities. Their happiness is my happiness. Personally I think many of our youngsters lose out by experiencing sex in early teens. Too much too soon? Maturity has many benefits including more responsible attitudes. Throwing away what might later be considered precious may well bring regrets.
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