I 'm beginning to come to the conclusion that over the last fifty years, people have become less and less likely to want to commit themselves to a particular course of action.
The contrast shows itself when one deals with different age groups. With older people, say over 50, if they say they will do something, they do. They may just as easily say no, but if they say yes you can rely on it happening.
If you look at clubs and groups of people doing things. Football, youth clubs, scouts, pubs with activities or just going to there; are there less now than before?
With younger people below 40 there's a different relationship. People readily agree to do something and then don't or they won't say yes or no and then they do it when push comes to shove.
It's as though people hang back in case something better comes up. These kind of people may often miss out and do nothing because an early commitment was needed. They turn up to and event and all the tickets have gone, for a meal and the place is full, to a friend's house and they gone out!
The result of a 'hang back' attitude is that a lot of things won't happen because organisers won't take the risk of failure. Groups of people planning to take action miss out because, if some planning is needed, then the opportunity has gone because too much was left to do at the last minute.
Is this that people have lost confidence in themselves that they find it difficult to take risks? They go around in a half state of depression always choosing the safe option - which may be staying at home and doing nothing or just watching tele.
Is this why many people reading this blog are just looking for something to tear apart, to criticise rather than come up front and say - "That's a good idea." ?
I find this with myself. It's far easier to criticise something than make a positive comment. It's a difficult habit to get out of! One needs to work at it to change.
Taking the plunge is a good analogy. It's always off-putting to think about going swimming on a cold wet day but great when you get there!
However I also wonder whether I look at the past and issues like this with rose tinted glasses. "It wasn't like this in the good old days."
Which is it?
4 comments:
I expect you have started that lovely candle walk by now. I hope the weather keeps fine for you.
What you say about commitment may be true, but we do look back at yesteryear with tinted glasses.
As it so happens I am busy writing chapters for a New Edition of my When Phones Were Immobile and Lived in Red Boxes (childhood memories 1939-53). I am now taking it beyond my marriage,up to 30 years ago. (We moved up to Furness 40 years ago). Things are certainly different. No mobile phones or electronic games, and sex was NOT displayed on TV or in the films like it is today. Etc.
I'm not sure about people wanting less commitment though. There are a lot of people involved in voluntary work. Family life has changed a great deal. It is normal now for mothers to go out to work and for parents to be involved with schools or their children's education. Many grandparents look after their grandchildren. Piggie-in-the-middle carers may have a generation above and below them to keep an eye on. NOT easy.
I used to be involved in quite a number of groups, in fact set up a carers' group, and a mother and toddler group, while working voluntarily for established charities etc. Now I do my own thing — writing. I don't have the energy to be involved in group activities. That does not mean I don't care, there are other ways to give support.
I am NOT unique. Many people are silently involved in many kinds of caring or supporting. Some may be uncertain as to whether to join things. Folk may think I am a ditherer when asked about joining something or other. (Dancing for oldies - great!) But practicalities make me change my mind whatever it is. (I get very tired at night, My hubby doesn't dance. I can't see when out in the dark, I can't drive any more and would be forever needing lifts etc etc). If that is so with me, then it is so for others - of whatever age.
We are amazed that talks arranged in Barrow by the PESC (Professional Engineers in South Cumbria) group, get up to 400 people attending. The talks are arranged (by committed people) in faith that people will turn up and they do. There are drama groups and music groups, writing and art groups, and many, more.To say nothing of the very many charities in the area. Was all this going on when we were young? Youth groups of different kinds - yes. But the kids had little else to do.
We are getting old, Geoff, whether we like it or not. Young inside maybe, but we don't have the thought patterns of younger people who have been brought up in a different world. Neither do we see all that goes on quietly?
Thanks Gladys,
Yes we had a fantastic time.
About 200 people turned up and the mood afterwards was 'high'.
"Will we be doing this again next year ?" was an often repeated question.
Looking forward to it!
I'll read your piece tomorrow when I have had a sleep - very happily tired! And it's only 9 15 pm!
Now that I've read your very thoughtful contribution, I'm reminded of several things. The main one is that people get on quietly and just do things without a fuss. It's refreshing that some activities get such large numbers attending.
I'm still puzzling this one out.
Do I mean that fewer people are willing to take on responsibility?
In the U3A (an organisation of oldies) for instance there are a lot of followers who will attend meetings if others organise them but few who are willing to take the lead.
Was it always this way?
Or are there more who sit on the sidelines and use their energy to be negative without realising that they can do something to contribute to a solution themselves?
Well done with the candle walk. The timing was good for a public event.I should imagine anything organised on a special day when nothing else is going off (at that particular time) would be welcome. Far better than certain activities that often go on at Holloween.
I'm sure someone will come up with another good idea for a special occasion.
U3A ? I think I have heard of this but haven't a clue what it is about.
As for getting oldies involved in the sort of thing you do, I can't answer that one. So many of my contemporaries are either seriously disabled or have departed this life. I reckon we are lucky to be as fit as we are. Of course, being active keeps us young. Perhaps the 'active' oldies are just that - active - and either do not have the time nor the inclination to get involved elsewhere?
Maybe church organisations and the established voluntary groups? Brass bands, WI etc
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