* * *
I met 'sir' for the first time last Wednesday - after 5 minutes of chat, by the time the photographer arrived at the Coro for a posed photo, we were buddies facing a common enemy.
"Would you mind venturing outside to stand next to the town's famous dead for a photo?"
"Could you hold the Sweet Peas here, there, everywhere, anywhere, upside down, inside out?
"Yes Geoff that's a good idea throw them high in the air. "
[Sir points out - "And I'll be done for littering at five pounds a pea"
"Would you then stand here, there, in front, behind. . . . ?" Would you sniff here, No down here, up there, yes down there. Now bury your face in the blooms? That's much better - beautiful"
[aside through the side of my mouth " I do hate Photographers"
[My new Best Buddy in a subdued murmur "What?"
["Particularly the Evening Mail Type" comes back the response "West Gazette type are so much better dressed - with a touch of perfume". . . . "total class"
[ "Yes." pause "But with an air of Kendal snobbery don't you think?
[ "Next thing he'll be asking us to stand on our heads with our legs intertwined"
["Nah"
["Betcha"
["Watchit". . . "Here goes".
"Geoff" . . . . "Could you stand with your arm round Lawrence's shoulders?
Stunned silence.
"Well maybe , Geoff with your left hand on Lawrence's right shoulder ?"
[Immediate response "Not bloody likely" with feelings of (Cringe, what does he take us for? A couple of comedians? Can't he see that 'Sir' is dressed in his suit for a wedding, complete with bouquet and the bohemian character next to him has just wandered off the streets in search of a fiver?
[ Best Buddy to the world at large "you heard what the man said"
"Oh well, - - - Yes I guess not. "
"Now. . . . Just in preparation for a big smile - it's a well known technique" - "Screw your face as though you're really angry (click- with no flash) Now relax completely and a big smile (click with an accommodating flash)
"Thanks" ( Now, I wonder which picture the editor will use on the front page with a big fat bonus for me - snigger snigger - they fall for it every time)
Well perhaps not.
"What love, - - - have I been day dreaming, is it really time to get up? I must have dozed off after the five o'clock alarm. I've an important interview later this morning."
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