Monday, 22 July 2013

Lawrence Conway - What's he like?

"Who cares?" one might ask. - Well he's a very important man because he's the chief executive of SLDC and in charge of all the officers that seek to carry out the wishes of our elected politicians in South Lakes, the area between Ulverston and Kendal and a bit beyond. He's the person at the heart of the Dangerous Pots in the Park episode. I went to meet him at the Coro with a bunch of sweet peas picked the night before in the park in question - Mill Dam, Ulverston.
* * *

I met 'sir' for the first time last Wednesday - after 5 minutes of chat, by the time the photographer arrived at the Coro for a posed photo, we were buddies facing a common enemy.

"Would you mind venturing outside to stand next to the town's famous dead for a photo?"

"Could you hold the Sweet Peas here, there, everywhere, anywhere, upside down, inside out?

"Yes Geoff that's a good idea throw them high in the air. "
[Sir points out - "And I'll be done for littering at five pounds a pea"

"Would you then stand here,  there, in front, behind. . . . ?" Would you sniff here, No down here, up there, yes down there. Now bury your face in the blooms? That's much better - beautiful"
[aside through the side of my mouth " I do hate  Photographers"
[My new Best Buddy in a subdued murmur "What?"
["Particularly the Evening Mail Type" comes back the response "West Gazette type are so much better dressed - with a touch of perfume". . . . "total class"
[ "Yes." pause "But with an air of Kendal snobbery don't you think?
[ "Next thing he'll be asking us to stand on our heads with our legs intertwined"
["Watchit". . .  "Here goes".
"Geoff" . . . . "Could you stand with your arm round Lawrence's shoulders?
Stunned silence.

"Well maybe , Geoff with your left hand on Lawrence's right shoulder ?"
[Immediate response "Not bloody likely" with feelings of (Cringe, what does he take us for? A couple of comedians? Can't he see that 'Sir' is dressed in his suit for a wedding, complete with bouquet and the bohemian character next to him has just wandered off the streets in search of a fiver?
[ Best Buddy to the world at large "you heard what the man said"
"Oh well,  - - - Yes I guess not. "
"Now. . . . Just in preparation for a big smile - it's a well known technique" - "Screw your face as though you're really angry (click- with no flash) Now relax completely and a big smile (click with an accommodating flash)

"Thanks" ( Now, I wonder which picture the editor will use on the front page with a big fat bonus for me - snigger snigger - they fall for it every time)

Well perhaps not.

"What love,  - - - have I been day dreaming, is it really time to get up? I must have dozed off after the five o'clock alarm. I've an important interview later this morning."

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