Friday, 25 October 2013

Confidence, a wonderful quality

Confidence truly makes the world of a difference.

A lovely woman struggled past me on crutches as I stood in my clarinet tunnel on Thursday. She moved very slowly and apparently very tentatively.

I called out quietly "Well done. Looks like hard work." She said - "Yes. I've been moving around like this for some time. My foot's in plaster and it's difficult"

I was full of admiration that she ventured out at all. Then she told me how her therapist encouraged her by telling she would do it she had confidence. It reminded me of being told when younger - "You can take out a rowboat as long as you've taken one out before" How the hell do you get started then I thought.

You can do it if you've got confidence. So how do you cope when you haven't got it. I guess you take your life in your hands and just do it only to find that you can.

In her case succeeding was important - She had 26 steps up to her front door, then another 46 steps up to the door of her flat - what if she fell? Didn't bear thinking about. She said it as if she now had the confidence - and she hadn't had a fall - well not bad enough to stop her trying again.

This demands true courage and with home being at the top of 72 steps it was succeed or remain in her flat the rest of the year. (for ever?)

Many of us face similar situations - it's the trying that makes the difference. Courage builds on courage to try which leads to confidence and confidence again. It must start at an early age with parents that encourage us to take risks which we succeed at, without their help so that we can say "I did it on my own"

Playing my clarinet on my own, in public, has regularly scared me into a nervous wreck only now am I beginning to start to enjoy mayself and even now I find all sorts of excuses not to start playing. Now the confidence is beginning to kick in. I can look back to a few successes and this Thursday I felt absolutely rubbish before I started when a small voice said " Go on start. Do it and you'l find it's a lot better than you imagined"

This courageous woman has surely developed confidence , the hard way, she ventures out evey time knowing she's got 76 steps to deal with." Just do it" she must say to herself.

And she does.

She thanked me for our chat. Talking does help. Talking to others and then doing . That vital winning combination.

No doubt we all meet similar situations. There's a lot of courageous people around. We all benefit from a pat on the back.

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