Wednesday 1 January 2014

We're all going to have to learn how to remain positive

With many people's lives crashing down so that living becomes, for them, intolerable and all motivation to 'live' is a mere glimmer, we all need to learn how to truly enjoy ourselves (Bertrand Russel prefers the concept of being content- enjoyment reflects the occasional and maybe rare highs) and do more than solely exist.

For the most part this is a mind thing and to do with the kind of friends one has. I realise that it is my caring friends that lift me out of depression - and when I step back most people would say that I have nothing to get depressed about.

Well I do.

And I don't.

It all depends on my 'frame of mind', on my motivation to get on with the life that is available in front of me.

Depression develops when one focuses on what is going wrong. We can change that by focusing on what is going right. If we stop and look at our lives objectively we have a lot going right. This is where to start.

For me the most depressing things come from the way I believe that I am being treated by others. I get depressed because I clearly focus on the wrong people. In fact I am surrounded by many very positive people - it is they that I need to focus on.

I had a fantastic day yesterday - all morning when I ran a project with four children and their parents. We all had a great time. We all 'worked' hard and there was a great sense of achievement, the cost was minimal - probably less than five pounds for the lot, but it was the involvement that made the difference. In the evening I went to the pub and had some great conversations and activities. The sense of genuine warm friendship that came from about fifteen particular people was palpable. This came from dealing with people that had really put themselves out for me for many years now and I for them. We knew we really liked and cared for each other. Drink? I was bought one glass of lovely malt whisky which was all I needed for the three your visit.

So I'll be focusing more and more in the coming year on all the things that are likely to go right and minimising and changing the things that go wrong. Much of this will depend on who I mix with and what challenges I take on. Challenges I must have because it is these that give me my sense of self worth - which is for me the key to feeling positive , whatever hits me.

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